Carving Out Me Time

carving out me time

This is where I was a year ago at this time. Today I’m snuggled up inside hiding from the -8 degree windchill. 

I crave me time as much as I crave salty snacks during that fun time that rolls around each month for us women.

If I don’t get my me time I get cranky and mean and I shut down. Social settings cause me anxiety. At heart, I’m an introvert. I could go the whole weekend not seeing anyone – stuck in my own little world and be perfectly fine. But,  The  type of “me time” that I so desperately need can be hard to come by.

Don’t get me wrong – I love spending time with family and friends, I love being busy and traveling, and visiting, and entertaining. But finding the perfect balance between social time and private time is the key.

Carving is the perfect word. It takes an effort to carve out time in your busy schedule. To carve out that little space you can go and be you in.

I have friends that don’t understand. They’d prefer to be busy little social butterflies with their calendars filled to the max. Which is perfectly fine,  it’s just not me. When I decline an  invite friends may think that I’m being anti social or avoiding them. Or worse, now that I’m married, choosing time with Ryan over time with them. Same goes with Ryan. He used to think that when I would want to go shopping, or go on a run, or read by myself that I was sending him a message that I was upset. That this was my “womanly” way of telling him that I was pissed about something he did or said.

So, I sacrificed.

I over obligated myself and I have made sure that Ryan and I do most everything together on the weekends. I’m always complaining about how I never see him during the week, why would I CHOOSE to separate myself from him on the weekends?

But things are changing. My new years resolution was to be kinder to myself.  I’m pulling out my little knife that I call “respect” and carving out time in my calendar for ME.

It all comes down to time management. Sure I have a few week nights home alone but I wasn’t using my time productively. I would go with the flow and do whatever needed to be done or whatever was easy. I’d work out, make dinner, and then sit down and catch up on my DVR. Yet, I’d get to bed and feel like I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the day yet. That I hadn’t accomplished what I wanted.

I now know that I have to schedule time that is separate from everything else. Yes, working out makes me energized and makes me feel good. Yes, watching my favorite TV shows with a glass of wine is relaxing. But as silly as it sounds, these still don’t count as “me time”. Personally, I need time that is technology free. Even just thirty minutes of technology free time – no phone, no iPad, no computer, no TV. This is the time I can recharge my battery and start feeling like “me” again.

Yesterday morning I chose to lie in bed alone til around noon. I was perfectly satisfied with my book, my cappuccino, and a burning candle while the freezing rain fell outside. Peace. That was what I was craving. A time that I could focus on my book and take in all my senses.

When I was ready to put down the book and get up, I was prepared to conquer the day. I spent the afternoon in the office cleaning out and organizing and then hit the kitchen to do the same. I paid all the bills, organized some more and curled my hair (something I haven’t done in over two years and I used to do it ALL the time).

The importance of those 30 minutes are completely clear. So, no matter how hard it is to say no to friends or Ryan or to my TV or iPhone I will do it when I feel that anxiety creep in, when I feel myself slipping away.

Now I know that if I can get that time carved into my schedule I’ll be a much more peaceful, happier, and productive friend, wife, and person.

We all have to find that perfect balance in our busy schedules. What works for you?

xoxo Katie

 

 

  • emma

    I love love love a bit of me time. with a good book or in the bath!!

    • kwalshmac

      yes! a good hot bath WITH a book is the best! The rest of the world just melts away.

  • Me time is so, so important.

    • kwalshmac

      SO important. I think it is really easy to forget about it too!

  • I can so relate to you! It’s definitely important that you carve out that special time. Im also an introvert that can be happy spending all weekend doing nothing but things in my own home. That’s what I need to re-energize myself for more social outings.

    i think what you described sounds amazing! staying in bed, sans phone/computer, and just reading with a candle lit. I really need to do this more often.

    • kwalshmac

      Yay! So happy to have a fellow introvert! A lot of my friends don’t get it! I hope that you find time during your busy wedding year to make time for yourself!

  • love this Katie! I think you just delved straight into my brain haha! That is exactly how I get. I definitely crave me time and am such a homebody I love that time just pottering around and I think you have to say no to things sometimes to get that time. And lets face it you cant say yes to everything 🙂
    Love what you said about ‘me’ time. About it being true me time really. there has to be that time where you aren’t distracted by technology and reading a book is soo relaxing and nice to work that brain 🙂

    • kwalshmac

      Yes! so glad you agree. We live in such a busy, complex world it can’t be good for us 24/7!

  • Me-Time has felt so impossible lately… I’m hoping the house on the horizon (where ever it may be) will have a little spot in it I can call my own and can bury myself in… I’ve realized how attached I have become to my phone and my email and my texts and my family which is healthy and good and fine, but where is the spot for me to stop and make space? It’s missing! 🙂

    Here’s a commitment to make space for me this week… Sometime, some where there shall be a few hours just doing me.

  • this is so encouraging! I need to get out the carving knife soon…