Let’s be frank, blogging is weird. I come here 4-5 times a week and pour my heart out to you. I talk to you like you’re my bestie and form connections with strangers. I treat this space like my own personal diary, the one if it was a real one would be on lock down, hidden away from even my husband. I let my thoughts flow freely and open myself up to strangers who come back and read weekly. Here I am, a woman who barely shares more than vacation photos and dog photos on Facebook, sharing intimate details on my blog for all the world to read. It’s very strange.
I come here because I love to write. I love the vulnerability I can express here. I love the power of words to connect, to bring hope and laughter and make us feel like we are a part of something.
They make us feel like we are part of this world but yet separate. Yes, there is a paradox in this blogging world. I wake up excited to come here and strip down and let my thoughts flow freely, yet, the idea of actually saying these same thoughts to you in person, for you to see me “live”, for me to share my heart so purely with out all of the careful planning and drafting of my pen and paper terrifies. me.
This past month I decided to overcome that fear and “Say Yes” to filming a vlog. I anticipated filming this vlog with sweaty hands and an anxious heart. I felt that once I allowed myself to be seen almost in person it opens the door a little wider, making it easier for you all to judge me, to criticize me and to make assumptions.
I also live with the other weird element of blogging: I love writing to share with all of you “strangers” but I also tense up whenever people in “real” life mention they know of the existence of my blog or, gasp, read it! My best friends shared my blog on Facebook last week and at first I nearly had a heart attack. Why is that I can share myself so openly on here but the idea of sharing that part of myself with friends or acquaintances makes me want to shut it all down?
I started blogging 6 months ago and have fallen in love. I have met amazing new friends and have learned much about myself. Blogging is such a perfect platform for sharing, for writing, and for expressing who you are. I’m all about that. The idea of women finding their voices and becoming empowered to follow their own path is what makes my heart sing. That passion all circles back to my respect mantra for 2014.
It started out as something entirely different and now has turned into a beloved hobby and favorite form of release. My voice did not come easy and there were a lot of things to figure out. I had no idea about link ups, giveaways, sponsors, and how to best use social media. I was always hesitate to call myself a “blogger”. I’m still trying to figure it all out but I’m also learning how to write my own rules. And that’s what living an empowered life comes down to, am I right? Learning how to live by your own rules.
I am a blogger. People in real life may judge it but only more so if I’m not confident in my voice, happy with what I’m doing. By being terrified and unsure of doing a vlog I was evoking a reaction in others. i was giving them permission to judge. So, I decided to step up my game, take the reins, drop the fear, and do a vlog.
It was scary. It was not perfect. I had to write notes. And it was fun! I felt empowered after it and I don’t know why I was so scared. I don’t know why I’m so scared to hide something from others that makes me so happy, especially something that is plastered on the interest for everyone to see.
Blogging will always be weird. We all judge, we all criticize, but does it matter if above it all, we are happy?
So, I’m going to continue saying “yes” to doing what I love, for as long as it makes me happy.