#SayYesProject Dropping the Fear

Katie A Beautiful Little Adventure

This post is part of the #sayyesproject series run by Amber of Mr. Thomas and Me

Let’s be frank, blogging is weird. I come here 4-5 times a week and pour my heart out to you. I talk to you like you’re my bestie and form connections with strangers. I treat this space like my own personal diary, the one if it was a real one would be on lock down, hidden away from even my husband. I let my thoughts flow freely and open myself up to strangers who come back and read weekly. Here I am, a woman who barely shares more than vacation photos and dog photos on Facebook, sharing intimate details on my blog for all the world to read. It’s very strange.

I come here because I love to write. I love the vulnerability I can express here. I love the power of words to connect, to bring hope and laughter and make us feel like we are a part of something.

They make us feel like we are part of this world but yet separate. Yes, there is a paradox in this blogging world. I wake up excited to come here and strip down and let my thoughts flow freely, yet, the idea of actually saying these same thoughts to you in person, for you to see me “live”, for me to share my heart so purely with out all of the careful planning and drafting of my pen and paper terrifies. me.

This past month I decided to overcome that fear and “Say Yes” to filming a vlog. I anticipated filming this vlog with sweaty hands and an anxious heart. I felt that once I allowed myself to be seen almost in person it opens the door a little wider, making it easier for you all to judge me, to criticize me and to make assumptions.

I also live with the other weird element of blogging: I love writing to share with all of you “strangers” but I also tense up whenever people in “real” life mention they know of the existence of my blog or, gasp, read it! My best friends shared my blog on Facebook last week and at first I nearly had a heart attack. Why is that I can share myself so openly on here but the idea of sharing that part of myself with friends or acquaintances makes me want to shut it all down?

I started blogging 6 months ago and have fallen in love. I have met amazing new friends and have learned much about myself.  Blogging is such a perfect platform for sharing, for writing, and for expressing who you are. I’m all about that. The idea of women finding their voices and becoming empowered to follow their own path is what makes my heart sing. That passion all circles back to my respect mantra for 2014.

It started out as something entirely different and now has turned into a beloved hobby and favorite form of release. My voice did not come easy and there were a lot of things to figure out. I had no idea about link ups, giveaways, sponsors, and how to best use social media. I was always hesitate to call myself a “blogger”. I’m still trying to figure it all out but I’m also learning how to write my own rules. And that’s what living an empowered life comes down to, am I right? Learning how to live by your own rules.

I am a blogger. People in real life may judge it but only more so if I’m not confident in my voice, happy with what I’m doing. By being terrified and unsure of doing a  vlog I was evoking a reaction in others. i was giving them permission to judge. So, I decided to step up my game, take the reins, drop the fear, and do a vlog.

It was scary. It was not perfect. I had to write notes. And it was fun! I felt empowered after it and I don’t know why I was so scared. I don’t know why I’m so scared to hide something from others that makes me so happy, especially something that is plastered on the interest for everyone to see.

Blogging will always be weird. We all judge, we all criticize, but does it matter if above it all, we are happy?

So, I’m going to continue saying “yes” to doing what I love, for as long as it makes me happy.

Katy Perry quote I love what I do

#sayyesproject

xoxo Katie

  • I am the same way girl! I write openly and freely here, but when a real life person mentions it, I am really uncomfortable/shy/nervous. Its so weird! I admire you and your courage girl!! I absolutley adore your blog, your writing, and your voice!

    • kwalshmac

      I can’t get over how weird it is. I’m really a private person haha. But I love how open the blog lets me be…And thank you! It took a while to feel comfortable using my voice. It’s a weird world we live in and glad to have found you in it!

  • I’m working with being okay with people in real life knowing about the blog. Every once in a while, I share a post on Facebook, but I doubt most people actually keep following afterward. It’s more awkward in person I think; I’ll be telling someone a story, and they’ll say something like, “I know, I read it on your blog!” … and that kind of kills the conversation. It’s hard to know who follows and who doesn’t if they don’t comment!

    • kwalshmac

      Yes, it’s such a divide. Like, I should be proud of my blog because I love it so, but then its also just awkward because I feel like people don’t understand why I do it. I’m so glad you and I are on the same page!

  • What a beautiful post. Blogging is a little strange in that way, and I feel similar sentiments. But the power of blogging just seems to have so much more meaning and fulfullment than Facebook or a personal diary ever could. I’m glad to have found you and hope you keep saying yes to it:)

    • kwalshmac

      Yes, I agree, the power of blogging far outweighs this weirdness! I can hardly stand facebook anymore! Always glad for new blogging friends!

  • This post is everything. EVERY DANG THANG.

    • kwalshmac

      Dang girl, thank you! I think we bloggers all get “it”.

  • I will never forget the first time someone approached me in public because of my blog and cautiously said “Hey, you have a blog right? The Young Retiree?” That was awkward and I immediately felt like they had been snooping in my diary! Someone who worked on the same ship my husband was on came running up to me one day and gave me a hug, stating he and his wife read my blog all the time and loved it: THAT WAS SUPER AWKWARD! Someone I didn’t know who knew me so intimately, or felt they knew me enough to hug me! I hid my blog from people I knew in real life for so long- at least something like 2 years! Then, the more friends I had that were blogging friends, I decided to jump in and “release” the blog to my family and friends. Isn’t it weird we’re not alone in these sentiments? It’s almost comforting knowing other bloggers feel the same way!

    • kwalshmac

      Wow! I can’t imagine a stranger coming up and hugging me because of my blog, what’s next, the paparazzi?! 🙂 But it must have also been rewarding to know that you are touching others out there. Isn’t that the whole point? Still, awkward though! It’s such a weird awkwardness but I love that we bloggers can all share the weirdness.

  • OMG I FEEL THE SAME WAY! Haha, it’s true though! It’s one thing when I simply not tell my offline friends about my blog. Everything is cool until they find out on their own! Uhhh…how am I supposed to feel, y’know? “Dude, this is awkward and embarrassing,” I say. My friend then asks “Why? You’re not shy about expressing your thoughts to strangers.” It’s an interesting dynamic, I must say…I think I’ll dissect and write a post about such dynamic. Yay for amateur analysis! xD

  • I’ve felt this way for the last decade — for years, only a few friends (IRL + blogger ones), family, and penpals knew about my blog. I’ve only in the last few years grown comfortable mentioning it in conversations and linking it on my facebook profile, and that was only because of having a photography business I wanted people to know about! I will say that the longer I’ve blogged + once I tied my identify to what was once an anon/semi-anon blog, the more I began to censor myself. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfy sharing more, but considering the people I deal with at work, those are the ones I worry about finding me and getting to know me on the interwebs!