Marriage is Like a Seesaw

marriage is like a seesaw abla

This coming Monday, Ryan and I will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. To celebarte we’re taking a long weekend up in the beautiful Finger Lakes. This will be our second trip to the region this year and I can’t wait to relax by the water, drink wine, and reflect on this past year. And boy what a year. Somedays it feels like our wedding was just a month ago. Other days it feels like I’ve aged years since I was the anxious June bride.

One year ago I took one of the biggest risks of my life. I committed myself to my best friend and to love him unconditionally for the rest of my life.

No doubt love is a beautiful thing. Falling in love is the easy part. The part that is magical and makes your life feel like a fairy tale. Staying in love is a choice. Don’t hate me, but I don’t believe in soul mates or love at first sight. I think love is a decision, a constant piece of work and intent action. And sometimes it is hard.

one year anniversary love is a choice

Of course I am no expert on marriage or love and these are simply my reflections on my relationship.

I love Ryan in a way I never knew I could love someone, and I’m amazed at how much our love can change in just one year. We have fun, we laugh, we smile, and we are certainly silly together. Yet, their are days when I can’t stand him. (as there are days when he can’t stand me either!) Some days he is just the man who leaves the dirty peanut butter knife in the sink and who scrubs the bathrooms spotlessly (never enough thank yous for that one!) There are days when I simply want to be alone. Those days when the idea of talking to anyone else or sharing the couch and bed with someone make me want to runaway. 

Then other days, and these days are far more plentiful, I wake up smiling, happy that I get to live another day as his wife. Beyond grateful that our joys are doubles because they are shared. He is my teammate, my conspirator, my built in best friend. We make each others heartaches endurable, we make fun times more fun, and we make the love we see in the movies seem trivial to what we have.

One of my favorite phrases to think is, “I’ll be right here”. No matter what, ever day, I’ll be right here. Always the number one priority. That is a promise I make. That is a choice I continue to make. 

Over the past year I’ve come to see love and marriage like a seesaw.

Ryan and I chose each other as partners on the seesaw on the playground, we were best friends and could think of anything more fun than sitting facing eachother on the playground, having a blast every day. We each took our designated seats, smiled at each other and thought, “This is going to be fun!” We were both excited for the joy and the thrill the seesaw would bring us as well as the fact that we got to have this fun together. 

Who doesn’t love the seesaw?  You have that butterfly feeling in your stomach as you’re flying up and down and sometimes you get that thrilling bounce, where you’re popped of the seat at the top, when you partner decides to make that day extra fun for you. It’s full of unexpecting surprises. The speed, height, and fun you will have lies in the hands of your partner. You have to trust him to do what is best for you, or simply be content with what he brings to the table. 

Like marriage, both partners have to put in equal work. The seesaw will go nowhere if neither or only one partner is doing all of the pushing. Even on days when you’re tired and just want to play alone, you still must put in the work to make the seesaw work efficiently. And even on those days, I bet you’ll be happy you chose the seesaw over a solo day on the swings. Once you see the smile of your partner as he soars to the top of the seesaw a day spent alone is unimaginable.

It isn’t always thrilling. It’s fa fact that while on a seesaw one partner will always be up while the other is down. Such is life. You can’t be equals 100% of the time. But just when one partner helps the other get up to the top, where the views are splendid and the work is easy that same partner will come down and help the other rise to the same bliss. You work together to acheive a mutual happiness. Giving love is always better than receiving love.   

Currently our seesaw is in pretty good shape, being only a year old and all. As it ages I understand that the highs and lows will only increase. But I truly believe the highs will always outshine the lows. There is nothing that fills my stomach with butterflies than the expectation and hopes of what the future holds for Ryan and me. Yes, marriage and love can be scary but jumping on the seesaw with Ryan is a choice I won’t regret. As my heart grows so does my choice to love him more and more. 

one year anniversary post love is a choice

xoxo Katie

 

 

  • Katie, I love this statement: “I think love is a decision, a constant piece of work and intent action. And sometimes it is hard.”

    You are wise beyond your years! I think you understand what it took we years to know- marriage is hard work, but SO worth the effort!
    Love you!

    • kwalshmac

      Thanks Faith – and wise? I don’t know about that, everything is a lesson in process, but we just keep swimming!

  • Happy anniversary sweetie! You’re absolutely right — sometimes it’s hard, sometimes you can’t stand the other person, but if at the end of the day you’re with someone you can have a blast with, it’s all worth it. 🙂

    • kwalshmac

      Thank you!! I can’t imagine life without standing by his side, even when I don’t think I could look at another one of his dirty socks on the floor again! 🙂

  • Pat (Mom)

    This is a beautiful tribute to the love you and Ryan share. Also, my favorite playground ride was always the seesaw, and now you’ve taught me why I looked forward to riding it every day at recess! Happy first Anniversary!

  • Congrats on your anniversary! Mine is next week! Crazy!
    I’m not sure I believe in soul mates either. I think I lean toward that I don’t, that we choose one person to commit to based on chemistry, common interests and attraction, but does that mean there isn’t a single other person on the entire face of the planet we can also love? I don’t know. You bring up good points:) I seriously love reading your posts, girl. Have an AWESOME weekend.

    • kwalshmac

      Exactly, love is all about making hard choices and the RIGHT choices. Chemistry sure helps though 🙂 Happy belated Anniversary to you too!

  • I love this analogy! I totally agree with your thoughts on marriage in general… love is definitely something someone needs to choose to live out every single day (in my opinion).

    • kwalshmac

      Thanks Lisa, it’s a constant daily choice, an itent to love, you can’t just leave it up to the stars or we’d all be lost, right?!

  • This is a great article!! So very true! Our first year was more of a seesaw than any. We had a lot of ups and downs and now we have kind of evened out. whew:)

    • kwalshmac

      ah good to know that the seesaw gets more even through the years. I guess we’re still learning to balance, but I also enjoy the highs and the lows.

  • Sabrina Cochran

    Hello! The first year of my marriage was like a roller coaster. It took a minute to realize I’m married. We been together for so long before we got married it seem we were already married. We have to learned how to recommit with each other.

    • kwalshmac

      Yes, marriage is different than simply living together. I would never have believe that back when we were just dating though. Kind of crazy.

  • Intention. That’s SUCH an important part of marriage -or any relationship- being intentional. It’s so vital to remain engaged in the act of loving on those who are special to us. I guess some would call it pursuit. To pursue one another out of affection. It’s so much a seesaw. Yes, so much. And so rewarding at that.

    Happy Anniversary to you dear lovebirds!

    • kwalshmac

      Thanks, Amber! You’re so right about the pursuit and the constant reminder that we are after the SAME pursuit, no matter how bumpy the seesaw ride can get. Even if you find yourself at the bottom more than at the top. It all evens out at some point, even if only for a short hour or so. It’s always worth it.

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