Last week I started a pre-natal yoga class. I was a little intimidated, being a first time preggo and not an expert yogi. A recount of my thoughts:
Wow this place reeks of incense.
Where should I go? Ooops! There’s a class there sitting in complete silence in the dark.
Guess I’ll just quietly sit over here in the corner.
Woops, dropped my water bottle.
Am I in the right spot? This is what I get for always being super early to things like this.
Ah here come two other pregnant women! I’m in the right place! I’m going to make new friends!
Shoot they know each other already.
“Hi! I’m new here!”
Where should I sit? Is it brazen of me as the new girl to take the center room spot? Hell, I’m doing it!
I’m the only new girl here. Wow, everyone else is really further along in their pregnancy’s.
Ok, I’ll guess I’ll just sit here and stretch and act like I know what I’m doing.
Everyone is sitting cross legged. I still call it Indian style.
Sitting like this hurts my legs, I’m going to suck at yoga.
Ok we’re starting! Yay!
Ok we’re just sitting here breathing.
Amazing! I’ve been breathing wrong my entire life.
The woman next to me sounds like she’s in the beginning stages of labor, she’s breathing so hard. How do I make myself breathe like that?
Wow, I hold my breathe a lot.
Damn these women are flexible. How is the woman in her 38th week of pregnancy more flexible than me?
Ok, so we’re still holding this position.
Please don’t fart.
What do I need to pick up from the grocery store?
Shoot I forgot to breathe again.
Yes child’s pose. I know this one!
Why is she coming over to me? How could I be doing child’s pose wrong?
Oh she’s just making it feel better. Yes stay here with me. No, don’t go!
So now we’re using those foam blocks to balance on.
Don’t fall. Don’t fall Don’t fall.
Damn’t I’m holding my breath again!
How does she make her wrists bend like that?
Ouch! No, this is not a natural position.
My wrists have never felt so weak. How do you strengthen your wrists?
She said this position makes the baby very happy. Hi baby!
Omg I forgot to send that one email at work today.
Focus! Damn’t, forgot to breathe again.
Now she’s telling us to set an intention for our birth and focus on that through the pain of holding a move.
Intention for birth? Stay calm? How in the hell am I going to stay calm?
Ok that’s that. I’m going to keep coming and turn into a crunchy pregnant woman and be so flexible and amazing and be able to stay calm and….
OMG how does she bend like that? Ouch!
Breathe, Katie! Breathe!
Oops, I just realized everyone else is barefoot and I’m the only one wearing socks.
Oh I like this stretch. This feel goooood.
Wait, we’re done already? That was a quick hour!
Ah yeah quiet meditation time! I could fall asleep.
But wait, what do I have to get done tonight?
How long am I supposed to lie here in the dark?
Is it weird if I’m the first one to get up?
Ok good she got up.
Yes, I’m coming back next week!
Um interesting! (but no, I don’t think I want to capsulize my placenta!)