20 Weeks with Baby Mac 2

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I’ve gone back and forth a lot on whether I should keep this space open.

Back when I was pregnant with Wyatt I posted weekly bump dates as well as several other blog posts a month.

Back then, blogging was a great resource for me to get in touch with other new moms and pregnant ladies as none of my close friends were at the same stage. It allowed me to connect with women from all over the country – we traded tips and fears and I’m so thankful for that.

Back then, Ryan worked long days and went to school at night. We barely saw each other. Blogging filled up my time and gave me a social outlet. 

Flash forward two years and I’m now a full time stay at home mom with our own house and a 20 month old boy to keep me busy. This blog was the last thing on my mind. 

But lately I’ve been missing having a place to document our life. I’ve been checking back on my weekly bumpdates throughout this pregnancy, comparing and remembering and I got a little sad that I haven’t given this pregnancy as much attention as my last. I want to be able to look back and remember it well and allow my baby girl to read about it to one day. 

So here I am! Trying to remember my WordPress log in and how to work this old blog again. Hello!

I can’t believe we are already halfway through this pregnancy. Wait…yes, I can. It’s been a long one already. I’ll get around to doing a first trimester recap one of these days but I don’t think I’m ready to relive those days yet.

So here we are:

How far along: 20.5 weeks! Halfway!

Due Date: September 25

Gender: Girl!!! We are both very excited to experience both a boy and a girl. And I can’t wait for all things girly and to relive part of my own childhood, however selfish that may sound!

Baby Size: About the size of a banana – 10 inches and 10.6 ounces. 

Weight gain: Well I lost a little over 11 pounds in the first trimester, so right now I’m the same weight I was when I first got pregnant – the weight it just positioned differently. I’m also carrying so much different than I did with Wyatt. This time the baby seems to be spread out all across my waist, not just in a little ball. My hips are much bigger this time too. 

Movement: Not feeling much movement yet. Like with Wyatt, I have an anterior placenta, so there is a little bit of extra padding between me and the baby. I feel some light fluttering every now and then. 

Best Moment Lately: Finding out we are having a girl! Truly, my first trimester was so complicated and hard. Knowing what sex the baby is allowed me to bond with it more. I now feel more connected to this pregnancy and can picture an actual human at the end. We also had a wonderful little getaway, just Ryan and I, last weekend. We visited Deep Creek Lake, MD and had fun sleeping in, reading, and simply relaxing. 

Looking forward to: Feeling the baby move. Hopefully soon! I worry so much when I can’t feel anything. Those mom fears never go away. 

Food Cravings: Ice water with a little bit of lemonade, chex mix, pimento cheese dip, anything salty and savory. 

Mood: Tired but excited and so grateful to have made it this far!

Symptoms: Tired. Sore hips, especially at night. When we moved last November, I threw out my pregnancy body pillow that I used while pregnant with Wyatt. It was all dirty and flattened and I didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon. I held off on purchasing one until this weekend. It should arrive today and I hope it allows me to sleep better. 

How were you second pregnancy’s different from your first? How did you maintain your energy with a second child to look after?

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Today

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I’ve been quiet around here, but today I had to speak my mind. I wanted to document my feelings on this important election. My heart is heavy. I never thought that this could happen, and that makes me feel even worse.

I’m not looking to debate or fight. This is my opinion.

I got very little sleep last night. I cried in bed as I listened to my innocent baby boy sigh in his sleep. I feared for our future. I felt unsafe.

Last night’s results have made our role as parents much harder…it is up to us to instill respect and love of all humans in a world where our leader does not do the same. We took many steps back in the rights of the LGBT community, minorities, women, those struggling with mental health issues, and special need citizens…not to mention the respect of all human kind in general.

It is heartbreaking and I will continue to push toward correcting it in my own way. You can do the same, spread love, volunteer, donate, build a community…

Today is a new day, together we can do this. We can teach love, kindness, hope, and acceptance: that choice has not been robbed from us.

 
 
 
 

Wyatt: 12 Months

wyatt12months2 Confession: Wyatt turned 12 months well over a month ago, I just haven’t had a chance to post his update yet. Seems kind of silly to post it so late in the game, because honestly I feel like he has grown SO much since September 7, but darn it, I dilgently took these photos and posted these monthly updates and I’m not going to quit on the last month! 

So here we go!

I have a one year old! How?? How did this happen?? My little baby is turning into a toddler more and more every day. 

Weight: 23 pounds

Length: 26.5 inches tall

Hair: light brown and starting to fill in more. 

Eyes: Blue

Nicknames: Wy, Wy-Wy, Mr. Man, Binky. Stink Bink

Likes: Books, Photographs, Music, Dogs, Mickey Mouse, Blocks, Doors, Exploring, Wagon Rides, the Pool, Eating, the Dog Leash and Bowls. 

Dislikes: Getting his diaper changed and getting dressed. Trying new food. 

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Clothing and Diapers: 6-12 months clothing, size three diapers. Adding in a few 12-18 months clothing. He’s getting so tall!

Sleep: Wyatt usually goes to bed around 7:30 and sleeps until around 4 when he gets up for a little snack and then goes back to bed until 6:00ish He’s still taking 2 naps a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. 

Feeding: Breastfed every four – five hours and eats three solid meals a day plus snacks throughout the day. He loves bananas, cheese and puffs. He’s a hungry boy.

Milestones: Speed crawling around the house. Saying Da-Da CONSTANTLY (but no ma-ma), climbing stairs like it’s an olympic sport. 

 

I expressed my feelings on one year of motherhood here. It’s been a big beautiful blur. Wyatt – I can’t believe you are your own little person now. You love exploring your world. You are a little cautious of new things but once you figure it out you get obsessed with new things. You can wave bye bye to us and love waving your hands around to music. Your first birthday was a success! (even if you did not have a clue what to do with your cake) We love you more each day and can’t wait to see how much you continue to grow! 

 

 

 

 

   
  

   
        

One Year of Motherhood

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One year ago today, I gave birth to a 7 pound 13-ounce baby boy via C-section. He smelled like home, fit perfectly on my chest, and made us a family. He was perfection.

Today I woke up with a little explorative toddler who shrieks as he covers my face in big sloppy kisses. He is perfection.

Throughout my pregnancy and the first few months of Wyatt’s life, everyone whispers the same telling advice, “Enjoy every moment!” To a new mom that hasn’t showered for 3 days, is running on two hours of sleep, and doesn’t know why on earth her baby won’t stop crying, that phrase feels more like a guilt trip than words of wisdom.

There were days that felt monotonous and never-ending that I wished away so I could sleep. There were nights of cluster feeding and a baby that refused to sleep that I wished away so I could sleep. All the while those little words, “Enjoy every moment” haunted me. I knew the year would go by fast but sometimes the days felt like years.

But most moments were blessed with happiness. We met each new month with joy and surprise over the changes it brought. Smiling! Rolling over! Sitting up! Grasping toys! Babbling! Crawling! Pulling up! Every day was a new adventure, we never knew what to expect. Life was full of fun and ups and downs and laughs as we bumbled our way together as a family of three.

We watched our little swaddled baby afflicted with torticollis develop into his own sweet little personality and it all felt unbelievably surreal.

Last night, on the eve of his first birthday, I nursed my baby before his bedtime and started to cry. In my hands was a long, lean, and strong little boy, holding onto my hand as he had his nightcap. This will be the last time that I lie my baby down in his crib before he is officially a toddler. Where did my baby boy go?

Despite all the warnings, I still found myself surprised to find that time had slipped through my hands.

I look around his nursery and I can clearly picture myself sitting in this same glider, rocking a little 8-pound newborn at 2 in the morning, almost in tears myself because I was so exhausted. I remember her well. She feels like this night will never end, that her baby will never sleep through the night. She fears that she is doing everything wrong. She innocently doesn’t think that one day she will miss peering down at her sweet baby’s delicate face. She is clueless has to what the year will bring. She is clueless as to how much bigger her heart will grow in the next twelve months.

It’s been a wonderful year of change and milestones and I can’t wait to see how much we will all grow as a family in the months and years ahead.

But nothing can compare to that bittersweet first year where so much change happened in such a short time; it seems like a weird lucid dream.

In a matter of twelve months I gave birth to a baby and then helped that baby grow into a sweet, calm, happy, and curious little toddler. I still have no idea what I’m doing as a mother but each day I learn a new lesson and love him a little bit more than the day before.

Happy First Birthday, Wyatt. You are our entire world. We love you so much!  

 

 

PSA: Back it Up!

Three Monday’s ago I woke up and began my day like every other week day morning. I sat down at my 2009 Macbook Pro with a strong cup of coffee and was ready to start posting updates on social media for my job. My laptop was turned off, which is odd, I usually always just leave it on. I thought perhaps it had done an automatic software update in the middle of the night. I turned it on and waited. As my computer was approaching the end of it’s dear life (7 years is ancient in Apple terms) I stepped away while it did its slow start up. 

When I came back I was met with this on my screen:

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Panic set in. 

I stupidly restarted my computer and messed around with it, googling home fixes on my phone, for a good 3 hours. I was in denial. I didn’t want to go to the Apple store. I thought I could just fix it up myself. Now I know, if you are met with the screen of confused doom, pack up your computer and go straight to the Apple store. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, just go. The more you mess around with your computer, the worse the damage gets. 

And like a totally basic 30 something woman I compared my life crisis to a Sex and the City episode – the one where Carrie’s computer crashes and she has nothing backed up and it’s told in parallel to the death of Miranda’s mother.

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I finally made an appointment and dragged myself to the mall. Ryan was off work, so he and Wyatt joined me. I still was hopeful that the geniuses at Apple would fix me right up. We sat up at the bar, anxiously waiting to hear my computer’s fate. They guy next to me had a similar issue. When his genius came back out with his fully fixed computer and chided him to back up his work everyday, I sighed with relief. Everything was going to be okay.

When my “genius” came out I was ready with my whole sob story of what happened and what I already tried to do to fix it, trying to sound like I knew what was going on. The young and confident boy (he was really young!) said, “Okay, let’s just open it with our diagnostics tools”. Two minutes later he matter-of-factly said “Yep, it’s your hard dive. It’s corrupted. And since your computer is more than five years old, we don’t service it anymore.” I stared at him blankly. He stared back. “That’s it?” I whispered. He proceeded to talk to me about the importance of backing up while I held back tears. It’s a little too late for a back up reminder buddy. You’re called a genius, why can’t you fix it?!!?!

He handed me a business card for a company in California that retrieves files from corrupted hard drives cleverly named, Drive Savers. I started to cry despite Ryan whispering to me , “Don’t cry in here, babe.” 

“But…but…all my baby’s photos are on there! I’m self-employed, all my work files are on there!” I was very upset that the kid didn’t respond with any sympathy. To him I was the idiot 30 something who didn’t back up her computer for 7 years. I could see him internally rolling his eyes at me. 

I packed up my sad little laptop and exited the store like a sad puppy with her tail between her legs. Out in the car I called Drive Savers to learn about how they could help me. When they quoted me anywhere between $1,200 to $3,200 I wanted to vomit.

Instead, I bawled. I felt like I was mourning. Everything was on that computer. There was no way I couldn’t try to get it back. Mourning the potential loss of every single photo I took.

I love taking photos in take pride in editing them and saving them and documenting everything. How could I let this happen? I emailed my boss and told him I wouldn’t be able to get much work done this week because one I didn’t have a computer and two I didn’t have any of my files. Luckily he was extremely understanding. 

Drive Savers overnighted me a fed ex box to ship my computer away in and I purchased an external hard drive so they could back up my hopefully restorable files on it. When the shipping box arrived the next day, I packed my dear little Macbook Pro into it like a coffin and shipped it away wishing for the best. 

A week later I got the call. Most files were redeemable! And my credit card had a profound balance on it. 

I’m not working on a brand new I mac and lovingly staring at all of Wyatt’s newborn photos comforted by the fact that I now have three back ups of everything. 

Backing up my hard drive was always something I said I’d “do tomorrow” about. Stupid. Do it. By an external hard drive. By some online cloud storage and do it today.