I’ve been in a little bit of a funk lately. Maybe I could blame it on the fact that I was home sick for a few days. Maybe I could blame it on the fact that I miss Ryan during the week. Maybe I could blame it on the fact that it’s Fall and everything seems to be dying outside. But if I’m 100% honest with myself, I’m in a funk because I’m neglecting my promise to live in the now.
Instead of living in the moment, I still constantly find myself mentally preparing and dreaming for the future. As I listen to Ryan’s rants about law school and work and his dreams, I know he’s doing it too. I still sit around and count the months, weeks, and days when Ryan will be done with school, when he can get a job he’ll be happy in, when we can spend time together outside of the weekend, when we can have a baby. I’m starting to obsess and it’s totally unhealthy. And I tell myself it’s unhealthy and yet continue to do it. I’m an addict.
As I spent most of my days this weekend sick and in bed, I happily thought, “Well those two days went by fast, can cross them off, two days closer to the future!” Seriously, Katie? You would rather spend your days sleeping away life rather than living with? Who are you? I’m wasting precious moments and time and it needs to stop. Now.
Each day that we’ve been given is a gift. I need to start being grateful for the perfect life that I’ve been given. I need to accept the love that is all around more. I’m not saying I’m greedy and ungrateful – I just need to accept the little gifts that are given to me each day.
In order to be happier in the now I’ve decided that each morning I should set an intent for the day. It can be as simple or as grand as I wish. For example, one day could be as simple as “Be sure to appreciate nature today” while the next could be a little tougher like “Be kind to those who are not always kind in return”. But I want to live each day with purpose towards not only my bigger goals but also my smaller goals. The Dali Lama got it spot on:
Lately, I have not been waking up ready to conquer the day. I want to feel like a fierce warrior (and I guess having Katy Perry’s “Roar” on repeat isn’t cutting it). I don’t want this to be another goal or “to do” list item. Because, knowing me, I’ll just push it under the bed like my other goals and run and hide.
I’ll be sharing my daily intents on Twitter. Each morning I’ll post my intent with #ABLAdailyintent. Join along if you’d like to partake. Feel free to give me a good slap in the face if you see my falling behind. I want to live a purpose driven life.
It’s a beautiful world out there, let’s be sure to live in it. Will you be joining me?