Being Critical is Exhausting, Cheers not Jeers

supportive hand holding

We women can sure be mean to each other. Mean girls don’t die out after high school (and hey happy 10th Anniversary Mean Girls!). Don’t lie, we’ve all done it. The cocktail infused gossip fest that starts with one little dig and then escalates and escalates until it seems like you and your girlfriends are ruthless dictators cackling your heads off at the expense of another woman (sometimes even another friend! gasp!)  

Last week when I was driving home after such a gabfest I couldn’t help but think, what was the point of that? What part of that conversation lifted us up or made our hearts sing? Did we learn anything new about each other or ourselves? 

I tend to be a positive person, constantly reminding myself and other to “find the positive” and to “choose happiness”.  I know I annoy Ryan sometimes because I can hear him right now saying, “Sometimes I just want to be negative and be upset!” And that’s the problem, isn’t? Misery loves company. Negativity is like a fatal virus, it just takes one tiny comment for an outbreak to spread. Pretty soon we’re spewing out negative comments because that’s what everyone else is doing. Well, like The Lion King taught us, life is one big circle, and pretty soon that negativity is going to be coming right back to you. 

We need to stop tearing each other down and instead start lifting each other up. Sit back and think about all the time and energy you spend on hating on other women, whether you’re jealous, being critical, or simply tearing another woman down. Now, picture if you used all of that time and energy to lift up other women. Ladies, we hold the precious power to build a community of strong-minded and bold loving women. Yet, we’d rather isolate ourselves. 

Take yourself back to the last time someone gave you a positive compliment, comment, or gesture. Didn’t it just make your day? Pass it on!  We all want empowerment. Together, we need to build it. Together we can be resilient. Imagine what we could accomplish if we were all full of positive encouragement everyday. 

As bloggers we have the opportunity to build a community and to inspire with words. Last week I took part in Ashten and Amber’s Happy Hour Hangout and had the opportunity to meet a lovely group of women including the all around beautiful and inspiring Casey from Aslan’s Auspicious Albany Adventure does a weekly link up called Jeers not Cheers that asks bloggers to spread the love and encouragement by sharing their recent favorite bloggers and blog posts. Love it! 

Cheers not Jeers
Today I wanted to share with you some of the recent posts that I wanted to pass on to others because they either touched my heart, inspired me, or made me laugh. 

Emily from Ember Grey inspired us all to Just Do You. The blogging community can be a weird place, I find myself constantly doubting what I’m writing and sharing and if I should be doing it at all. Emily reminds us to follow your own heart and write for yourself, in the end your true self will shine through. 

Erika from All Things E is a beautiful writer that always seems to be living inside of my head! Last week she wrote, Love Thy Neighborhood about how loving where you live can have a huge effect on your happiness. I’m currently in the works of writing about how I fell in love with my current home city, even though I never could ever picture living here. Now it’s home. 

Marquis from Simply Clarke shared one of her favorite marriage lessons in 1 Question to Ask Your Husband Every Day. Her words reminded me that we need to pay more attention to the day-to-day interactions of our marriage, even if you are A+ communicators, small feelings or needs can easily fall through the cracks. Sometimes people need reminders that you are there for them, all the time. 

Sara from Life as a Hughes shared her post I’m Not A Fashionista or a Foodie, humorously writing about how she doesn’t necessarily fit the description of a typical blogger. This spoke to my heart as I believe there are zero rules to living life, except those your write for yourself. Life can so easily put us in boxes. Sara shared the fact that she’s just going to keep doing her thing and won’t try to fit into a trendy mold. 

Spread the love people! Please comment below and share any women that are inspiring you lately! 

xoxo Katie

What Are Friends For?

friendship quote shakespeare

Good friends are hard to come by.
Old friends are the best friends.
Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the others old.

There are a reason why clichés become clichés, because they are universally true. I’ve always chosen to have a small tight group of girlfriends that know me in and out over a large array of friends. I feel fortunate to have 4 life long best friends, 2 from high school, Kay and Ashley, and two from college, Laura and Jeanette.

This weekend I hosted a sleepover for three of them. Weekends with girlfriends always make me feel rejuvenated, happy, and young at heart. I absolutely believe those studies that show that people live healthier lives and overcome illnesses quicker when they have strong friendships throughout life.

winery

Only one lives in the same city as me. The others are in Philly and DC and we all take turns visiting each others cities. Although we’ve all changed and in some ways grown apart, we all have the common base of our friendship to hold us together. If we met in present day, we probably wouldn’t choose each other to be friends. But really, how many people meet friends in their adulthood that compare to the friends they meet or harvest in their college years?

Like any relationship, friendships take effort – especially when we all live so far apart. (Do you know how hard it is to pick a weekend that suits four busy young women?) But, old friends are the ones to invest in because no one can replace the lifetime of shared experiences.

old friends quote ralph waldo emerson

 We met in high school and college, an intense time where we have the freedom to experiment with our identity. A carefree time that leaves room for spontaneity, creativity, and simple fun. There wasn’t the harsh competition or comparison that we may do with friends that we meet in our adulthood. Studies shows that you are happiest when reminiscing over old memories – and that’s one of the things old friends do best – retelling the same funny stories, bringing up inside jokes, and remembering the “good old days”.

When I’m with my friends it’s always a judgement free zone. We love one another like family, accepting us, flaws and all, and validating us as a person that matters. Friendships play a vital role in our lives. They fulfill our need to connect, to bond, to belong.

Although we’ve all grown up and changed, we still compliment each other so well. We can go weeks with out communicating but when we’re together it’s like no time has passed and we quickly revert back to our college years with big belly laughs, silly stories, and boy talk. But the best part is that we also accept one another as the women that we have grown into and eagerly celebrate our lives with each other.

xoxo Katie