What Movies Taught Me About Love

I don’t care too much for the rules of Valentine’s day, the ones that say you MUST shell out a week’s paycheck on a romantic candlelight dinner, overpriced red roses, jewelry, or anything else the world of advertising declares is the only way to show your loved ones that you care.

However, I do like getting festive in other ways – like making sweet treats, toasting with an extra glass of champagne, writing sweet notes, and watching my favorite romantic movies. I see it as another day to celebrate all that makes you feel loved – your friends, your family, your partner, or your dog and or cat.

I’ve always loved love stories – and what better time to curl up with your favorite romantic movie then in the bleak and bitter month that is February. They warm my heart and let me have a good cathartic cry. I can’t help it. I love it.

So in honor of my love of love movies I’ve decided to look into the love lessons I’ve learned from my 3 favorite love story movies (in order of their greatness) Love Story, The Notebook, and Titanic.

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These three movies all have a common theme. Boy and Girl from different socioeconomic backgrounds fall in love and stay in love against all costs, whether that be cancer, dementia, or the sinking of a ship. Let’s see how these famous movie couples taught me to believe and fight for love:

Love Story

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(I always wanted to be Jenny with her sleek seventies style – I tried to reenact their romping snow scene, but could never be as cute)

In case you’ve never seen it
My favorite romantic movie of all time tells the tale of wealthy Oliver and middle class Jenny and their journey to love and marriage against the best wishes of Oliver’s family. They grow close through hard times and love each other unconditionally. All seems ideal until Jenny is diagnosed with terminal cancer at the young age of 25.

Lesson’s Learned:

1. Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry

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Many disagree with this classic line and I did too for many years. It didn’t make sense to me, love means ALWAYS apologizing, even when you don’t truly mean it.

As I got older I saw it in a different light. You don’t need to say you’re sorry to the one that you love and loves you in return because that one person knows that you will always be sorry for causing the other one pain (intentional or unintentional). You have enough faith in your relationship to know that it is strong, that apologies can be given with a simple look, hug, or recollection of your commitment to the other. They are your life long teammate.

2. Life is Fleeting, Share and Celebrate Your Love Before It’s Too Late

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 Jenny and Oliver fell in love quick and surely didn’t hide their love away. Good thing since their love story was cut short. You never know what tomorrow may bring, if you love someone let them know. Then celebrate it, shout it from the roof tops, live our that love each and every day. Or else, end up bitter and alone like Oliver’s poor father…

line The Notebook

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In case you’ve never seen it…who are you?
The movie tells the story of Duke, an old man reading a love story to a woman suffering from dementia. Duke recounts the true love between Allie and Noah, who fought for their love as the world (mostly Allie’s disapproving parents) tried to tear them apart. After seven years of separation the young lovers reunite and realize they are still deeply in love. After hearing this story time and time again, the suffering dementia patient realizes that she is Allie and Duke is Noah – just in time for the two of them to die peacefully together.

Lesson’s Learned:

1. True Love Can Defy All Odds if Both Parties Truly Believe In It

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There is no doubt about it, love is a risky endeavor. But once you take that risk and fall down that rabbit hole into the world of love you must both put 100% faith and trust into your relationship. When you are both in it together, miraculous things will happen. Faith and Love are one in the same to me.

2. You Must Follow Your Own Heart

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The world will try to tell your otherwise. People will try to tear you apart. Ignore the haters and follow your gut. Listen to your heart and take action. Only you can create your own happiness.

 lineTitanic

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In case you never saw it…really…who are you?!
Jack, a romantic drifter, and Rose, a wealthy young girl engaged to a snob, meet and fall in love aboard the doomed Titanic. Jack rescues Rose as she contemplates suicide to escape the social repression of her life. Within the next few days, the two fall deeply in love as Jack shows Rose a whole new world and way of viewing life. When the boat begins to sink, Rose choses to stay with Jack, rather than escape with her wealthy family. The two struggle to survive as the ship goes down, and nearly do, until Jack dies of hypothermia. Rose carries Jack’s memory with her and lives out an adventure and fruitful life. 

Lesson’s Learned:

1. That Mysterious Artsy Guy Who Isn’t Afraid of Taking Chances Makes a Great Romantic Partner

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 When you need a little push or motivation, guys like Jack, will always be willing to hold your hand and lead you on adventures leading to a life of surprises and passion. These guys have a big heart and big dreams and think outside of society’s norms.

2. Love Is Playful

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Life’s too short, live a little! Love’s not all about the big passionate moments. Love should be playful and make you feel alive Take that spontaneous trip, try new and exotic food, pull an all nighter before a big day, let your hair down! Take Jack and Rose’s lead –  Let him draw you naked, have hot sex in the back of someone else’s car, have a spitting contest, dance like fools.

3. Challenges Bring You Closer

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No doubt that when you and your love must endure a great challenge (hopefully not a sinking ship) your love will grow and you’ll learn to trust the other in ways you never did before. When life throws you struggles you’ll learn to lean on one another and tide the storm together. Who knew what would have happened to Jack and Rose if the ship safely landed in the States?

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Spread the love!

xoxo Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Posts of 2013

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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Each and everyday I am surprised that people want to hear the everyday thoughts of little old me. I love interacting with you and finding new friends in this blogging community. I can’t wait for what 2014 has in store!

I started this blog in mid August 2013. Here are the top ten posts, based on readers, since the birth of A Beautiful Little Adventure.

Quinoa Pizza Bits – Healthy Snack

An easy and tasty snack that tastes like pizza! I owe my thanks for Pinterest and the fact that Quinoa is the second most favorite buzz word of 2013 (behind that braggy Kale)

5 Friday Favorites – Gifts that Give Back

Unique gifts for all types on your list – bonus at least 25% of proceeds go to charity!

{Love Story Part 1} When I Lost Sight of Love

My love story series was my favorite thing to write since I’ve started this little blog. This is the one that kicked it all off.

Skinny Chicken Enchiladas

Like you, I’m always trying out healthier alternatives of my favorite recipes. This one does not disappoint!

5 Friday Favorites – Procrastination

Discussing something we all have in common – procrastination! Ranting about my love hate relationship with social media.

Pop-Pop’s Life Lessons and Advice – a video

Pop-Pop is a very special man. To honor him on his birthday I did a special family history interview on video.

5 Reasons I Celebrate Christmas “Early”

Christmas is my favorite! Here are my reasons to stretch the season as long as you can.

Wedding Recap – Secret Garden Theme and Vision

My first (and so far only) recap of my June 2 wedding.

My battle with the hair salon

Gif and giggle heavy posts about my trips to the salon.

What’s in a Name?

My struggle over whether or not to change my name after getting married.

See you all in 2014! Have fun celebrating tonight!

xoxo katie

{Love Story part 4} Surprise Engagement (on our Engageaversary!)

You can read the previous parts of our Love Story here:

Love Story Part One When I Lost Sight of Love

Love Story Part Two Rewriting My Story

Love Story Part Three Second Chances

Ryan and Katie Engaged

It was December 4, 2012, a cold Tuesday, and I was at the gym sweating to death in a spin class. Ryan and I had just moved into our new home 3 days prior and I was avoiding the monstrous amount of boxes yet to be unpacked by spending the evening at the gym, deciding to attend a hard spin class after my Pilates class.

I was barely able to walk out to my car as my legs felt like jello. That class was torture! Instead of being wise and taking the time to stretch, I rushed to get home, because Ryan would already be there waiting for me. As this was still one of our first nights together in our new home, I wanted to maximize our time. He was stopping at Home Depot to pick up some light bulbs. I called him on the drive home to ask him to pick up some nails as well, but got his voicemail. I was irritated and knew he wouldn’t listen to the message.

When I opened the door, he had yet to arrive home and he ignored my second attempt to reach him by phone. I couldn’t imagine where he could be. Now I was getting really irritated, especially since I had rushed home to see him. I hopped in the shower and figured he’d be home by the time I was out. As I was drying off, the door bell rung.

I couldn’t imagine who would be ringing the door bell. I was still damp from the shower and had soaking wet hair but figured I should probably make sure it wasn’t an emergency. It was 8 p.m. so it’s not like it was a delivery man or anything. I  quickly threw on sweats and Ryan’s xl law school sweatshirt and ran downstairs.

To my surprise, it was Ryan at the door. Honestly, at first I was annoyed, thinking he forgot his keys.

And then the magic started and my heart began to beat faster than it had in my spin class.

It took me a minute to realize that he was acting out the famous poster board scene from Love Actually, where Andrew Lincoln pronounces his love to Keira Knightley with simple, funny, yet profound words while Silent Night plays from a boom box. Here is a clip in case you need a reminder:

Once I opened the door, Silent Night began playing from Ryan’s cell phone and he began to hold up these messages written simply on poster board, while I stood shaking, slightly confused, and teary eyed in front of him.

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And as if reenacting this romantic scene wasn’t enough, he went and upped the ante by adding my favorite girl in the world, Taylor Swift into the mix.

After this card, “to me you mean everything”, Silent Night switched off and “Love Story” by Taylor Swift came on, perfectly timed at the dramatic point where she sings, “He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, And said, ”marry me Juliet,  You’ll never have to be alone…”

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Once he dropped this last card to the ground he fell to his knee and his shaking hand pulled out the ring box. I was in shock! Part of me still couldn’t register what was going on! I remember saying “Is this really happening?” and “Yes! Of course, Yes!”.

It felt so unreal, like a scene out of a movie that you would never imagine happening to you in real life. The fact that I was in my sweats, soaking wet hair, make up free face made it that much more surreal.

I felt beautiful and I felt alive. This man really blew me away and I couldn’t have asked for a more original and from the heart proposal.

I couldn’t stop staring at the ring, or him, or the fact that after only dating for 10 months I had found the man I knew I was to share my life with. That that life was starting now. That I was living my dream.

After we both had time to register, celebrate, and stop shaking and crying we decided to really celebrate! I wanted to tell my parents in person, so after we popped some bubbly and I got dressed up a bit in a favorite little black dress, I called my parents saying that I had to come over because I forgot a prescription at their house.

It was so fun to surprise them with the news and celebrate together. They had a guess as to why I was urgently coming over to their home at 9:30 at night since Ryan had asked for their permission to marry me a few weeks ago. So sweet!

We called Ryan’s family next and then our friends. Honestly, everything still felt like a dream, we were just so incredibly happy! It made the holiday season so fun. I also got right on top of the wedding planning. Within 10 days we had our venue and date selected! What fun!

I was so happy to be caught off guard. Ryan’s proposal proved that he sincerely knows my heart. So grateful to have him in my life and to hold on to the memories from that special night one year ago.

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xoxo katie

{Love Story} Part 3: Second Chances

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Read Part One Here

Read Part Two Here

I started telling Ryan and I’s love story two weeks ago. The story began at the beginning of my journey to finding love with Ryan. It is not your typical love story – as it starts in heartbreak years before I even met Ryan. This is where Ryan enters the picture and taught my heart how to heal.

 It was the beginning of summer in 2011 and I was ready to give love (or maybe just dating) a second chance. I knew my heart was ready to give love again. After hearing some stories from other girlfriends I decide to give online dating a shot. I register for OkCupid – because it was free and a couple of my friends had success finding no serial killer dates there. After the painstaking task of writing an online profile, I find myself rolling my eyes at the minimal selection in my small town. Within a few minutes, I started to receive messages from a few guys. But, overall the prospects were rather dismal.

Ryan messaged me, and he appeared to have some promise – but was slow in asking for a date. That same week, I went on my very first OkCupid date. What a disappointment! The guy could barely hold a conversation beyond the weather report and just stared a lot, waiting for me to start conversations. But, instead of giving up, I decided that I would just keep trying, if nothing else I’d have good stories to tell my friends.

So after another week or so of texting one another, Ryan and I go on a date. We meet at a restaurant and have a polite dinner, getting to know one another. He was extremely shy but had a sweet smile and I could tell he was a good person.  I wanted him to loosen up a bit and try to see if he’d break out of his shell – so we decide to go to a bar for a drink. After awhile I can tell he’s more relaxed and he’s sharing more of himself. It was pouring outside and we decide it would be best to simply prolong the date rather than get soaked in the rain storm. We share some good laughs and I start to feel a connection. And then he mentions that he was really hoping to go to Boston for law school and my heart stops. Boston, which is 6 hours away. I really did not want investing time into someone who would be leaving the region at the end of the summer.

It was late at this point and we needed to head out of the bar. We run through the rain to my car and I drive him to his, which was parked further away. I gave him a quick kiss and thought, “I’ll see what happens”, but that whole idea of Boston made my heart sink. You see, I thought I deserved a love that was easy, that was effortless on my part. I was blind to the fact that I would have to sacrifice part of myself to receive love as well. That it would take work. But, at this time, I wanted a relationship to simply fall in my lap, to make up for all my previous heart break.

In the next few days and weeks Ryan would text me, but it was usually nothing more than “Hey” or “What are you up to tonight?”. It didn’t feel like he was putting any heart into it and didn’t put forth any effort to make plans anytime soon. In the meantime, I went on another date. When Ryan’s texts became fewer and further in between, I decided to date someone else. I told Ryan that I didn’t think we should text anymore, because I was dating someone else now. Sorry.

That someone else was a huge disaster. I was wrong when I said that I was ready to give love. Because in order to give love, you have to be willing and ready to receive love as well. My heart was not healed yet. It was not strong enough to give and receive love because I still did not fully love myself yet. True, I was almost there. But I expected an easy route – one where I would not open myself up to be wounded again.

For 5 months I dated someone who I never opened my heart to and he never did the same in return. It was a major waste of time and full of frustrations. But through those vexations and disappointments, I learned more about who I was and my needs and wants. I officially called it quits on New Years Eve of 2012  – I was ready to start the year fresh, with a new confidence. I was done with online dating and wasn’t going to worry about finding a relationship.

You know that saying, “love always happens when you least expect it”, well here is proof.

On January 27, I get an email from LinkedIn saying that Ryan has added me as a connection. Frankly, I’m shocked because he had even deleted me as a Facebook friend the previous summer. I decide to take this as a little hint and message Ryan via LinkedIn. We exchange phone numbers again and start to text on the regular. He had not gone to Boston and was still in the area. Texting was easy. Yet, I still had zero expectations.

A month later on February 25, we decide to go on a second first date. Normally I would fret for hours over an outfit and wait anxiously for his arrival. But, I kept my expectations low and just looked at the night as a casual dinner with a friend. Imagine my surprise when we have a great dinner – with conversation, smiles, and laughs. I find out that like me, Ryan loves karaoke. So, after dinner we head over to a bar that was having karaoke. I gave up my “don’t drink too much” dating rule and let myself go. I wasn’t worried about impressing him or what I looked like. I was simply being myself. We sang Tom’s Petty’s “American Girl” together and then he truly shook my earth by singing a song solo (Braid Paisley’s “On-Line”). Gone, was the shy boy who only a few months ago seemed terrified of me. We danced and sang at the tops of our lungs and I had one of the best nights I had for a long time.

By the end of the night, I knew that this was something special. And, without me even realizing it, my heart began to open up again. That night, I gave my heart a second chance to live, to love.

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Over the next month we saw each other constantly. We shared  our disappointments, our failures, our hopes – our hearts began to recognize one another. I was calm around him. All my anxiety disappeared and I felt like the girl I had lost so many years ago. The cold shield that I had built up around me over the past 3 years began to come down. Not even a month after that second first date, I knew that I loved him. I knew deep down that this was love. And that I was given a second chance and that I was not going to give up on myself or on Ryan. That this was my future.

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Things weren’t always easy. Like anything that is worth something, it took work. We both had undergone major heartbreak, and sometimes our minds would slip, forgetting that we now rested on safe ground. His schedule kept us apart – but the fullness he brought to my life when we were together made it all worth it.

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The next nine months flew by. I never knew I could find so much about someone else and learn so much about myself in such a short time. We traveled up and down the east coast on weekend getaways and family vacations. We tried new experiences and grew together. In December of 2012 we moved in to our first home together. The future was looking bright.

Stay Tuned for Part 4: Surprise Engagement!

xoxo katie

 

 

 

Love Story Part Two: Rewriting My Story

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Read Part One Here

I started telling Ryan and I’s love story last week. The story began at the beginning of my journey to finding love with Ryan. It is not your typical love story – as it starts in heartbreak years before I even met Ryan.

But, this is the story that brought me to Ryan and this is my story to tell.

It was October 2009 and my week’s vacation at the beach had come to an end. I tearfully said goodbye to my mother and brother and hopped on a plane back to Chicago to face my future. I was so hurt on the inside but I masked it with a fiery rage. Zero part of me wanted to have a conversation with him. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run away. I could barely walk with out shaking as I collected my bags at baggage claim and made my way out to his waiting car. My heart felt like it was going to explode when I made eye contact with him for the fist time. He looked guilty. He looked sad. But, to me all I saw was a loss. Something I didn’t even recognize anymore. I spent five years of my life with him but I did not know him anymore.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I tried to make things work. Giving up felt like quitting and I’m not a quitter. But as October turned into November it became easier to see that the life we built together was over. But, it’s hard to say goodbye to something that you’ve held so close for so long. It was a decision that was stalled and ignored. I laid in bed and tried to sleep it off. At the beginning of November, we jointly made the decision that I return to my childhood home in PA for the duration of the holidays.

So four years ago, on this week in November, my father flew out to Chicago and helped me pack up my tiny two door coupe with just enough clothes and belongings to get me through New Years Eve.  The following day, he, my dog Maggie, and I started the 12 hour drive to Lancaster, PA. I left with a horrible sinking feeling, like how you sometimes feel when you are leaving for a trip and feel like you left something crucial behind like your ID or your camera. But along with that sinking feeling, I was overcome with a sense of freedom of letting go. Yet, I still held hope that the heart I knew hadn’t completely been buried in tarnished memories. I still held hope for not only my future but our future.

The usual happy tidings and excitement of Thanksgiving and Christmas weighed down on me like a bag of bricks. I couldn’t make it through most Christmas songs without breaking down in tears and I suffered countless panic attacks. I felt both comforted and claustrophobic in my childhood bedroom – recently remodeled away from my girlhood pink carpet and twin size bed. I felt so lost. I settled into the comfort at home, but part of me still didn’t feel like I belonged.

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It wasn’t just the loss of love that made me feel so out-of-place, it was the fact that my identity was so wrapped up in that love, in that life. But the love and support that I felt from my family and girl friends pulled me though.

Sometime before Christmas, it was clear to me that although I had never experienced this much pain or this much confusion, I was better off here than there. I was better off with out him. With out that life. It was time to call off the wedding. I felt like a failure. Like a disappointment. I was 26 years old and had no idea where my life was headed. Thank goodness my mom handled all of the dirty work. It was just all so embarrassing.

But, I was ready to rewrite my story. I decided to go back to school – and took some classes at the local art college to get certified in web design and graphic design. I accepted a new job using these skills and gained back some confidence. I ignored all of the phone calls with him, pleading for me to take him back. Crying out that he had changed his mind, that he had made a mistake, that there was nothing else he needed but me. I ignored it all and kept reinventing myself.

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I travelled almost every weekend to be with friends. Yes, I probably drank too much, dated too many losers, and slept too little, but I had fun. I also created bonds with girlfriends during this time that are everlasting. I found my soul mate in a college best friend – a bond stronger than any I had with him. I’m forever grateful for this time and the bonds it help me create with girlfriends. Life wasn’t perfect, but I was surviving.

Jeanette and I

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My defense mechanism was a giant wall of coyness and coolness. I let no one in other than my family and girlfriends. I dated boys that were not dating material. I tried on all different types. I treated some badly, just because I wanted to feel what it was like. But, I was still wounded.

I was the girl who would sometimes cry at the bar. I was the girl who would never reveal anything personal about herself. I was the girl who didn’t let any man in, but then got hurt when I didn’t receive anything in return. I craved validation. I was the girl who had no idea where her future was headed.

Five months after I moved back into my parent’s home, my Dad and I flew back out to Chicago to pack up the rest of my belongings and mark my furniture for professional movers to bring back. Walking into my old home was a strange experience. It felt haunted, I didn’t recognize the ghost of myself that I caught glimpses of. I was ready to officially say goodbye. I wasn’t that girl anymore. Yet, I still didn’t know the girl who had replaced my former self.

For the next year, I was an explorer. In many ways, the world felt like a fresh new place. I was rewriting my story. I learned that only I could control my destiny and I was going make sure my new life was just what I wanted. I was searching for myself again. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find – was she going to be better than the person I was with him? Was she going to be better than the person she was before him? Was I going to have to force myself to love her? Will she love me?

I was searching for love, but the most important kind, self-love.

Once I finally started to feel comfortable with myself again and could see a future, I decided I wanted to share her and it with someone. In the beginning of summer 2011, I decided to try a free online dating site.

What did I have to lose?

Stay tuned next week for Part 3: Second Chance

xoxo katie

 

{Love Story Part 1} When I Lost Sight of Love

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After posting our “abridged” love story, I promised to one day write Ryan and I’s full love story. But in order to tell our love story, I have to start with my history with love. You see, every good love story has a good back story. It makes it all that more special when you know the journey that led the lovers to each other. So this is part of my story.

The part of my story that is all my own. The part of my story that has shaped me into the woman I have become. The part of my story that left me wounded.

The part of my story that in time redefined my definition of love.

Let’s go back in time to when I was engaged to a different man, no boy. Yes, I was engaged before during a time that feels like a lifetime ago. You see, four years ago I had a completely different life in Chicago and was preparing myself for a future that looks so different from where I am now.

My old story began back in 2004. I met my ex in college when we were silly and free – still kids at heart. We dated for 5 years. After I graduated I accepted a job in Annapolis to be close to him as he was still in college. Two years later, we moved in together. He was my first adult love. But, I was ready to grow up and he was still maturing. Things were not perfect, but after we had been together for so long the next logical step seemed to get married. We got engaged in the winter of 2008 and I was happy. I do remember being happy, it’s hard to see myself like that now, knowing what was to come. I dove into wedding planning. We picked a date, a venue, and vendors. We were moving ahead, together.

The future was looking bright. He had a job offer in Chicago and after some very careful planning, negotiating, and talking we decided together that this was the right move for us. I would quit my job and move to Chicago for him. So, in the Spring of 2009 I packed up my life and moved half way across the country, putting all my faith into our future together. It was so hard to say goodbye to my friends, my family, my beloved east coast. But, as the die-hard romantic that I am, I trusted my heart and my love.

My time in Chicago was a big adjustment. I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed any sign of normalcy. Even he started to change. It was scary but I tried to stay positive.

Then, during the week of September 28, 2009, the world as I knew it ended. I was vacationing for a week at my favorite beach in NC, Wrightsville Beach with my mom and two of her girlfriends. During this time, my brother and his wife lived there as well. The beach is where I feel the most serene – so I was ecstatic to leave the already chilly Chicago on a plane to go see my mom at the sunny and warm beach.

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He stayed behind – as this as a girls’ trip. After my second day there, I knew something was up. He wasn’t answering any of my phone calls. Even after I left frantic messages and called his parents. As the worrier that I am, I was picturing the worst. My mind was creating images of him lying dead on the floor while Maggie cried and licked his face.

My fun in the sun was halted, because I just knew, in my gut that something was not right. Two days later and he was still not answering any messages, from me or his parents. I was mad, I was scared, I was full of rage.

Yet, I tried to keep smiling.

And then, 5 days into my trip I received the phone call that changed everything. We were out at a nice group dinner at a Thai restaurant. I loved this restaurant and was so mad that he was ruining this for me.

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It had been five days since I had talked to him. Every single tear filled voice message was left ignored. I must have left around 20. And then, during that dinner, my phone rang.

Writing this makes my hands shake and causes my stomach to do flips. Not that I’m still hurt – but just because I can still remember being that girl. I can still feel how it felt to step outside of the restaurant and hear my fiance that I love say, “I don’t want to marry you anymore. I don’t think I love you anymore.”

I no longer remember what I said. Or how I initially reacted. I do remember feeling nauseous. I do remember feeling like this couldn’t be true. I do remember feeling like everything inside of me turned into dust and disintegrated. I do remember walking back into the restaurant and trying to smile but the tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.

That evening, I sat on my bed and screamed and cried while my mom rubbed my back. What a blessing to be with her when I received this news. I was hysterical and nothing could help me.

After everyone else went to bed, I sat on the deck facing the ocean and it is so quiet except for the sound of the crashing waves which is competing with the pounding of my heart. My pain seems to take up the whole beach and ocean and I feel so alone, drowning in it.

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I called my best friend around 2 am and she picked up and listened. She was so supportive and insisted that it couldn’t be over. But, telling someone else only made it more of a fact – I knew that this part of my life had concluded.

If only I had known then that it was only that, a part, a small segment, of my life that was over. In that moment it felt like all was lost.

I had built my life around him. I had left my job, a city I loved, my friends, my family, my everything to be with him. I had no idea who I was without him. It was like someone had died. Five years of my life vanished. The memories, the laughs, the love were all a waste. My heart was ripped out and discarded. As I sat there listening to the waves crash on the shore, I imagined myself as a lifeless piece of seaweed getting pulled under the current and pushed out to sea, never to see these shores again.

I couldn’t imagine facing him. I couldn’t imagine even facing my own heart. I had no idea how I was going to make my way back on a plane in two days and confront my future.

I didn’t know what love was anymore.

And, more importantly, I was afraid I didn’t know who I was anymore.

Stay tuned for {Love Story Part 2} Rewriting My Story 

xoxo katie