Letter To My Soon to be Born Son

beachmat13

Dear Son,

I’ve dreamt about you my entire life. Ever since I was a little girl cradling her dolls, I imagined what it would be like to care for another human, to be their role model, to be connected to them for the rest of their lives, and to be their greatest source of love.

You’ve been growing inside of me for the past 36 weeks. I’ve traced your growth from when you were nothing more than a few cells. We’ve been on quite the journey together and no one can replace that. We’ve shared resources, not to mention a body. It’s pretty magical stuff, little one, but not quite so magical as when you make your debut in a couple of weeks.

Your father and I cannot wait to meet you. In the recent months you have always been the forefront of our conversations. What will you look like? Who will you take after? Will you be an expert piano player or a soccer star or neither? What will you bring into the world with you? How will you change our hearts? In the end, we know none of these questions really matter. You, just they way you are, have always been my future. 

As your mother, it’s going to seem like I’m always telling you what to do or that I’m always forcing advice on you. Please know that it always comes from a place of love. Life can be hard, but it’s always easier when you have someone by your side. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect. But I do promise I’ll do the best I can and that I will never stop loving you.

So here are my first words of advice for you:

You’re about to enter the outside world. I know it will be scary, bright, and full of new things. There will be so many things to discover:

You will discover that you have hands. Over time these will help you learn to feel and examine the world around you. I hope that they allow you to grasp onto the things you love and bring them closer to you but I also you learn to use your hands to give gifts to others. 

You will discover that you have feet. These will be fun to kick and shake and pull towards your mouth for a good nibble. But I hope that one day these feet will let you explore our world. Let them take you to new places and new people. They will allow you to run forward as your heart pounds and the world whirls around you. I hope that you will use your judgement to run towards the right choices and away from the wrong choices.

But please don’t try to run too fast before you are ready. Do not grow up too fast. The world is a heavy place and my role, as your mother, is to carry that weight for you. Play, explore, laugh, and be a little boy for as long as you can. Innocence can never be replaced, so I intend to protect yours dearly.

You will discover your voice. I hope you use it to its full advantage. Words have power, my son, and I hope you will use them wisely. Use them to spread love, hope, and courage. Use your voice to say no when it matters and to say yes when the time is right. Listen to your voice. It may seem quiet, but that little timid voice is your heart speaking to you. Inside it are your fears and passions. Everytime you listen to it, it will get stronger. 

You will discover your thoughts. Your little brain has been developing at a rapid pace. Soon you will discover all the amazing things it can accomplish. Believe it or not, it will continue to grow for the remainder of your life. Nourish it. Never stop learning. Use your mind to push boundaries, question the normal, and to follow your heart. 

You will discover your eyes. These will allow you to witness all the beauty of our world. Always take time to pause and notice the tiny miracles that exist all around you. It’s a gift to truly appreciate the natural beauty of our world –  away from screens, technology, and crowds. 

I hope that you will use these new discoveries to always be kind. Even when it’s the uncool thing to do. Kindness will take you far in life. What goes around comes around, and being kind to others will bring you a happiness that cannot be bought or won. Never forget that kindness begets kindness, so with every little smile or act of kindness you put out in the world, you are encouraging others to follow in your footsteps. You will learn a lot of skills throughout your young life, but I think compassion will be one of the more important ones. Don’t belittle its potential. 

Your father and I have limitless love for you and support you and your choices. However that doesn’t mean that we won’t disagree with you from time to time. (No motorcycles!) I’m sure there will be days where I’ll be your least favorite person on earth. Don’t push us away. Love runs deeper than disagreements. We will always be there for you, even when it seems you are all alone. You are being born into a large circle of people that love you dearly. That is a great gift. 

Your father and I will love you unconditionally. And no matter what separates us, we will always live in your heart.

We will be there when you discover your first reason to laugh and when you are so sick that the night seems to never end. We will be cheering you on when you take your first steps and read your first book and we will clean up your scrapes and cuts and help when the words are just too tough.  We will hold your hand as you start school and will wipe away your tears caused by bullies or fractions. We will stand by as you graduate and move out on your own to explore the world. We will encourage you to keep trying when your heart gets broken and smile from the sidelines when you meet the love of your life. And we will proudly be part of your life when you start a family of your own. We are yours for life. Through the good and the bad. 

And yes, life will sometimes be tough. No, I take that back. I do not want to lie to you. There are many times when life will get tough. But don’t give up. You are a strong. Keep pushing, keep moving, every day is a new day. 

That is my final hope for you. Live a full life. A life full of adventure, learning, passion, compassion, and not least of all, love. Your first breath will set into motion a brand new life that is different from anything else on this planet. 

We can’t wait to explore this life with you, son. Only a few more weeks until we can meet you. The world is waiting for you. 

Love, Mommy