Thankful

thanksgiving

The most magical time of the year has started. It’s a season full of promise, hope, and miracles. 

Last night, as I stood in the chilly air waiting for Maggie to do her thing, I gazed up at the bright full moon filling up the sky.

I paused and remembered how last year at this time I would end my nights exactly like this. Right before going to be each evening I’d step outside with Maggie and stare up at the moon and make a hopeful wish  to the universe that we would soon get pregnant. I wished with all my heart and said a soft sad prayer month after month, closing the gap between the stars and I.

And now here we are one year later with a beautiful and healthy baby boy. I am so thankful.

I’m so thankful for my family, my friends, and the gift of getting to enjoy each day. If nothing else, I love how this time of years makes me pause and step back and realize how this world is full of miracles. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love Letter of Gratitude

ryanthanks
November: A month of thankfulness. I don’t think any of us really thank our partners enough. As this month reminds us to be extra thankful, I thought I’d pause and write a letter of gratitude to Ryan.

Dear Ryan,

These past few months have taught me that love is always changing and always growing. But most importantly they have taught me that love is always there, even when I can’t always see it.

Last month I was feeling lonely in marriage. I mean that in the best of ways. Let me explain. There were nights when I was home alone and feeling the pressure to hold it all together. To not let you show how hard it was to be apart.  There were times when I took on the weight of all your anxieties and fears. The ones that sometimes crush your spirit. My heart felt the need to pick them all up for you, to help lighten the load on your heart, to make you happy. Without thinking twice I picked up all your anxieites and worries as if they were my own. “Isn’t that what marriage is about?” I thought to myself.

I catologed all those worries and lined them up side by side like books on a bookshelf. Thinking they were all organized and like I had a plan. They were all nicely lined up on that shelf in my heart, leaning against my own anxieties, my own fears. The ones I kept to myself because I didn’t want to overflow your already full plate. The ones I was afraid would distract you from focussing in school and your dreams. I thought that by being strong for you, by taking on your burdens, I was showing you how much I love you. 

But that shelf in my soul was getting so very heavy. It began to break with the weight of all those burdens. And then came that Sunday when despite by attempts of bravery, they all came tumbling down on top of me. Suffocating me. Making it hard to breathe. 

That day I showed you a part of me I usually keep hidden away. I felt so unhinged yet heavy at the same time. Yet you read my tears like the words to your favorite song. You knew. With no doubt you understood my fears and my worries. How could I forget that you know me so well? How could I forget that we were a team? How could I forget that you’d never expect me to carry all that weight? You held me close and whispered, “We can be strong together.”

So Ryan, I need to thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. I’ll never be alone. That sometimes I can get lost but that I will always be found. 

 I need to thank you for always making “us” a priority even when you are running on zero sleep, are working on 3 different projects for school, are prepping cases for work, and dealing with family crises. Thank you for putting us first. Thank you for pancake breakfasts, for always bring me coffee in bed on the weekends, for listening to Taylor Swift’s 1989 on repeat in the car for the past 3 weeks. Thank you for putting up with my moods. Thank you for cleaning the whole house when you had a vacation day on Veteran’s Day. You could have slept or watched TV but you chose to scrub the kitchen and bathrooms. Thanks for always making me laugh. And thank you for sharing my dreams.

I’m one lucky lady. Thank you for loving me and thank you for letting me love you. 

 

 

 

Big Thanks and Little Thanks

givethanks

I’m currently trekking through the rain and snow, making the drive from PA to western NC for Thanksgiving at my brother and sister-in-law’s home. I’m so thankful to be able to take time off from work to spend quality time with family and see a new part of the US.

As I will be staying in a remote cabin – away from it all, I will be taking a little Thanksgiving break from posting. So, I wanted to take time today to express my gratitude.

Of course I’m thankful for all the obvious things like my family, my husband, my friends, Maggie, my job, home, and health. I am truly blessed with a beautiful life. You may say that I want to give  BIG thank you to all of these blessings.

But what about the little thank you’s?

Here is a list of a few things lesser thing that I am also thankful for. Parts of my life that I may usually take for granted. Smaller things that may not seem worth noting but things that in the end add to the beauty and greatness of my life.

1. There is this one part of my daily drive home where the sky is always breathtaking – no matter what time of day it is, it always catches my eye. I always say to myself, tomorrow I will pull over to take a picture – and I haven’t yet. I’m grateful to live in such a beautiful part of this country.

2. Warm morning cuddles with Maggie. She makes it both easier to get up but harder to get out of bed.

3. Christmas decorations – most importantly the ones that have been passed down to me from my grandmother or mother and the ones from my childhood. Each holds its own story.

4. Warm boots and scarves – keeps me cozy at the office

5. The fact that I get to see my mom almost every day and my dad at least twice a week. I’m fortunate to know my adults as people, rather than just parents. I’m glad to have them as friends.

6. Scented candles that fill up my home with warm fuzzy feelings – makes evenings alone seem not so lonely

7. The fact that Ryan washes the dishes and cleans the bathrooms without complaint. Even if I DID do these two chores, he’d do the over again because my effort wouldn’t be up to par. I haven’t cleaned the kitchen or the bathroom since we started living together a year ago. I cook, he cleans.

8. Red lipstick that brightens my day and makes me feel more like a woman, even if inside I feel like a slobby troll.

9. Wine, peanut butter, chocolate (hopefully those two things together), apples, nachos, cheese, avocado, cosmos, ice cream, cashews, macaroni and cheese, crab cakes, and chex mix.

10. You! I’m so grateful for this blog and you readers. It still blows my mind that anyone would want to read. I love connecting with all of you, making new friends, and commiserating over this crazy world we live in. I’m so appreciative to have a place to come to every day, a place where I can say my thoughts, be creative, and feel at home. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

If you want to follow along on my trip to Asheville connect with me on Twitter or Instagram

xoxo katie

The Thankful Project – A Job

thankful project

It is the month of Thanksgiving – a perfect time to reflect and remember all that we have to be grateful for.

I’m joining Kenzie’s The Thankful Project over at her blog Chasing Happy. Today we are discussing a job that we are thankful for.

To be honest, I’m thankful for every job that I’ve ever had. Not just because good jobs are hard to come by these days, but because they were all different and all suited me rather well.

The job that I want to discuss today though is my very first “real” job out of college. I was floundering a big after graduation. It took me a good 8 months to find a “career” job. There seemed to be zero good fits for me and my English degree, until I stumbled upon an ad for a job at an international boating magazine. After studying the company a little bit, I knew this was the job I wanted. I was ecstatic when I got an in person interview.

I was a nervous wreck and dripping in sweat under my suit. Everyone was so nice and it was a beautiful office located right on the bay. But, everyone was a passionate boater. It was their life. When they asked me about my boating experience, I choked up and looked nervously around the room. I knew if I mentioned my Pop-Pop’s small time fishing boat they would smile and think “awe isn’t that cute, that’s the type of boats we use as a dinghy”. I put on my biggest smile and said, “well, not much, but I can’t wait to learn and become a boater like the rest of you!” I couldn’t believe it when they offered me the job on the spot.

Like most other first “real” jobs I learned a lot of valuable lessons, tools, and became much more self-aware about myself. Like any job, it wasn’t perfect and I did my fair share of complaining during my time here. But in hindsight, it was pretty great. Here are a few of the things I’m thankful for the most about my 3 years in this position:

1. I learned to stand up for myself and to use my voice. When I started this job I was feeling pretty low about myself. I had done so well in college, but couldn’t find a job. While at this position I gained confidence in myself. I learned to speak out about what I like and didn’t like about my position and low and behold, a mere 6 months after starting, they created a new position for me – that better suited my passions and tool set. I learned that my voice matters. 

2. It provided me the opportunity to travel the country. Part of my job entailed traveling around to different boat shows across the country. I got to travel to some pretty spectacular coastal places in New York, Florida, California, and Washington. It was a lot of time away from home and a lot of hard work. I would never want to go back to the grueling 12 hour days of running a boat show, but I wouldn’t trade in my experience to see beautiful parts of this country on someones else’s dime. Although we worked really hard, we also enjoyed times at fun restaurants and bars. I have so many memories like the ER visit in Miami, being in San Diego for Mardi Gras, and group happy hours on the deck of boats in the San Juan islands.

3. It opened me up to new things. Through this job I became friends with people I would have never considered being friends with in college. It allowed me to see that “clicks” don’t have to exist in adult life. Before I started this job, I swore that I hated wine and I would have never tried sushi. And surprise, surprise, now I love sushi and am a major wino. I also would have never considered becoming a graphic and web designer – but while at this job I self-taught myself some basic html and Illustrator and had so much fun that I decided to go back to school for it!

4. It Made me less shy. When I first started at the young age of 22, I was basically terrified to call up strangers on the phone to talk to them about our business. But, as my three years progressed I quickly found myself as the bubbly blonde that loved welcoming and introducing our clients at events and even acted as the emcee during our Auction and Trivia nights. In hindsight, this job really helped me grow into myself.

5. It introduced me to a whole new world of people. I never knew that “boaters” were such a niche demographic of people, or that they were so fun! These people can drink! I had so much fun over the years meeting various welcoming boaters at our events. I think that was my favorite part of this job – hearing all of the amazing stories of our readers and event attendees. Most of them were devoted boating and travel enthusiasts who gave up all of their belongings and their home to live aboard their yachts and to travel the world. They had a dream and they made it come true. I found them to be inspiring and once again fun!

6. Instilled in me a good work ethic and to live by the motto, “work hard, play hard” As I mentioned above, we worked extremely hard. But, we always rewarded ourselves at the end of the day with either a night out somewhere or by having a few glasses of wine back at the hotel or office. Even though it was sometimes hard to get up the next day, we would get up, strap on our boat shoes and attack the next day. (I know for sure I wouldn’t be able to keep up now at age 30.) Even though we drove each other insane sometimes, I learned the value of team work.  Our boss would always says, “You gotta work hard to play hard.” and I remember thinking that it was so cheesy. But, it is a good motto to live by at any age. I continue to celebrate each victory while simultaneously look forward to the next step.

What is a job that you’ve had that you are thankful for?

xoxo katie